95blckfirebird

I'm off her, like I stepped off the train and it has long passed me now...but I'm untruthful. I can't seem to find my way without her light, lost in a whirlwind since the last time we spoke, the last time we kissed. Broken words and empty kisses are all I remember. Tears and shattered dreams are all that is left be hide us. Our failed promises vanish in the lost echoes left be hide by our testament to love for each other. It's gonna take more than a year to get over everything. I have dropped to my knees, hopeless and lifeless. I cover in the shade and sleep under the moon's shadow because I'm too afraid of her light touching me once more. She once completed who I am but remembering the pain she has caused me, simply defeats my will to love her again. I've lost all rounds...there is this darkness that fills the void she left inside of me. I cast faraway until the sun drops from the bright sky. By then, all I want is to witness the light in her eyes that is shared by the moon and stars in the beautiful night. Her glow within the stars burns through the sky night like the fire in my heart that I've once yearned for her. Heartbreaking enough, it no longer exists. So now I creep away till no one can see me but I do stand present enough so she could catch a glimpse of me. I won't let her hold me but I'll let her sense me. My presence is enough to get her heart beating. But the loudness of my heart throbbing for her love breaks my hideaway. It is so strong it utterly creates the feel of an earthquake. Or is that because of the heartbreak she's caused me? Either way, it breaks my chill and I am caught. The light that used to guide me is no longer there: or have I become so blind to it since she's left me? I can't figure it out. I can't find my way either, I'm stuck in a dark cave buried a million feet underground. The walls are collapsing over me. There's no more noor to open a heavenly pathway for me. No luminosity and no guidance. Before I go, you need to know this. Even thou its too late to save our love, I would have done anything to show you how much I adored you and now there's nothing more I can do because its over. Ya noor 3eeny, I am always with you and even when your far away from me, your love is in my heart...The light of my eyes, rohey and alby; since you have ended our chapter in the book of love; you shall end this poem too. Goodbye roon...

Mentally I am unstable. Lost and confused, petrified that the roof over my head will collapse. Taking away what I've used to shelter my soul. My life is collapsing before me and the blood line I share is evaporating. My tears are drying and turning my eyes backwards into to my head. This love is dying but my heart is still beating. This rage is uncontrollable and continues to burn. My mind has melted away and can no longer stand the struggle. The pain I see in their eyes have become insufferable. As I sink, I watch the sharks rip and eat away at everything that was once ours. No longer able to support their desires, they now have turned against us. In a frenzy of hunger they approach at us with the thirst of flesh. What belonged to me and what was once my everything is taken away? Hit bluntly with reality that leaves me in wonder. Stumbling, in my world in a dizzy faze. This life we live shall be no more. The Devils have come to take back what belongs to them. There is no love attachment between us and them. Crying in fear and screaming because I'm frightened, I slightly begin to understand this harsh reality. Without green there is no means to anything. All I want is God to send his Angels. We are all screaming our prayers but haven't been answered. In a cloud of haze, we are reaching for the bright light that can never be felt. Are you real or do demons just exist? This faith feels like its dying but my heart is still searching. Please find me; please find us in need of your help. Our world has just begun and shouldn't end... {Just ask and you shall receive. We will always believe!}

As my silence starts to break, I begin to realize that I can breathe in air once more. Thou my mind is hurt and unsure of my whereabouts, I am now able to think...Held off in her love has been pain and suffering. When I was lost; it was like living in a gas chamber maze. I was suffocated by her kiss, I was lost in her eyes, drunk off her love and my emotions were bruised by the beating her heart put out upon me. Now, having been able to find myself, I've since then been able to understand this tragic love affair that dwelled over me (us). My heart, a broken one at that; it was torn apart from this love. It then refused to beat and died cold in her lifeless hands, in the dark sadness it was buried away. My shallow mind was dazed. Unable to control my will to think, my mind pounded it's self till I collapsed over a hard rock. Helplessly laying in the dirt, my eyes gazed up at the sun but it was too bright for my weak teary eyes to withstand. So I crawled into a dark whole, awaiting the moon to come out. Sadly, the moon never came. The soul I've once shared with her has disappeared in some bright light that has come before me. I only hope God is taking care of my soul now, for I fear I have lost it to the devilish acts of love. As I begin to inhale air, I begin to remember some wisdom...She may have taken away my love but she will never take away my soul. The soul is owned by God and no man (woman) shall take it away. Being so, that will be my strength. As I rebuild myself physically and emotionally, I vow to return more for love...her love.

I've learned that people meet each other in their life to experience and learn so many things about themselves, one another and others. To explore everything about themselves, to explore true meaning to love each other and even learn how to love. Also, we as humans get (need) to explore our emotions and interpretation within life as couples of all sorts. So, regardless if they are together forever or for a short period of time. It is part of life to meet a significant other to learn and love one another so it may benefit them in the long run too. This is all for good reasoning at best and too; our experiences are for us to share with others/each other. In doing so, don't be afraid to love and expose yourself to falling in-love and being open to be loved. Thus, there is always someone out there for each and single one of us.

My mind is split a part, into pieces. I find myself logged somewhere in the middle of my mind. Waiting, depressed and angered...Waiting for you come back and talk to me. Waiting for our lives to become part of one another; once more. I continue to wait for you, to hear your lovely voice in my cold and lifeless ears. You bring me to life. It’s like a high when we're together. Something that seems so unreal, something that feels too good to be true. Your words core through my body and sleep peacefully under my heart...But now, my heart is broken and those words have fluttered the world. I'm depressed...Repressed by your words and touting of your love. I'm tangled up inside worst than ever before. My heart and mind are left feeling miserable. Memories of us start to fade away now. I begin to go crazy and create memories of us on my own. Sadly, my mind is into two pieces, living in two different souls. This misery deprives me of my own faith, willingness’ to think and compassion to love. I'm so hurt. I'm left with nothing but anger! Anger; which you have built inside my chambers of heart. My mind melts away from any kind of emotion in such disgust. I'm in disbelief. I'm just another fool, another one caught up in this evil game they call "love". I can't take this anger anymore; it lives like a beast inside me. My mind is in pain. The heart I had has long gone because of being tormented in depression from losing you. And now, my human body is unconscious from patiently waiting for you. I will continue to sit in despair; but I will continue to long for you beside me no matter what. You are my world and I have nothing without it…anything without you.